


Nine Times Out Of Ten

by OllyJay



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: F/M, MFMM Year of Tropes, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:03:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9574994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OllyJay/pseuds/OllyJay
Summary: "Because nine times out of ten, what you have in mind gives me grief."On board a ship returning to Australia via America, Phryne decides to help a young woman's romantic endeavours but things don't go quite to plan.





	1. Best of Intentions

Detective Inspector Jack Robinson lay on his back, hands behind his head, on one of the most comfortable beds he had ever had the pleasure of sleeping in. Across his legs and hips was a soft, though slightly rumpled, sheet. He stretched, enjoying the slight ache in his arms and legs. He could not remember ever being happier. He surveyed the luxurious cabin, every imaginable need supplied and the power to demand the instant production of anything thoughtlessly overlooked. God, a man could get used to this, he thought, putting his hands behind his head again, grinning.

Phryne unlocked her cabin door, "It's just me," she called out, fairly sure he'd still be in bed. He normally got up at six every morning to go for a run or swim - he said it helped him prepare for the day ahead. She shuddered to think of the horrors he was anticipating that would require that sort of preparation. This morning though, six had come and gone without him stirring, an incredibly rare occurrence, making it even more annoying that she had somehow agreed to meet a young woman for breakfast at seven.

"I'm going to need your help Jack," she wandered into the bedroom, her breath catching when she saw him lounging on the bed, happy, relaxed and absolutely delicious.

"What trouble have you dreamt up for me now?" he asked.

"I need you to create a small distraction for me."

"Distraction? I'm not sure if I like the sound of that, who exactly do I need to distract?"

"Well, I need you to pretend to distract Miss Bowen."

"And how do you propose that I do that?"

She stared at him lying naked in her bed, was he serious? "To be honest, just breathing should be enough," her eyes roamed his bare flesh, "though I do think it would be best if you had less skin on show, we don't want every woman on the ship distracted."

"I think you are vastly over estimating my attractions."

"Not at all, I happen to know that quite a large amount of female energy is spent discussing the handsome Australian policeman who is apparently the only man on board impervious to Miss Fishers charms."

"Don't be ridiculous."

She gave him truly wicked smile, "Perhaps, before I send you off on this mission, a small reminder of exactly how wrong they are is in order?"

"I'm fairly sure I don't need reminding but if you feel the need... " he offered.

"Oh, I most definitely feel the need," she assured him, flicking the sheet away.

*****  


Jack's orders were to monopolise Miss Bowen's company until Phryne signaled otherwise. His earlier attempt at conversation having resulted in uncontrollable giggling on her part, he had decided that dancing was the best option. However, she was so slight he was seriously concerned he might hurt her. But that wasn't the only thing making him uncomfortable. Phryne had assured him that Miss Bowen was in love with young McKinney but the way she had begun to gaze at him was disconcerting. As he moved her around the dance floor he surreptitiously sought Phryne, he needed her opinion.

Stuck in a conversation she was not following Phryne saw him searching for her, she knew exactly what he was thinking and she was in agreement. Miss Bowen was not acting like a girl in love, well, not with McKinney anyway. This was not how things were supposed to unfold. And the worst thing was that McKinney wasn't even here, so all Jack's efforts were in vain. She tilted her head towards an alcove and made her excuses.

Jack joined her as soon as the song ended. "Care to explain what's going on?" he kept his voice low, partly because he didn't want to be overheard but mainly because he knew the effect it had on her.

"I don't understand Jack, this morning she was heartbroken because McKinney's attentions were flagging."

"It would seem they have flagged so much that he hasn't even bothered to turn up tonight," Jack noted, "Do you even know if the boy was actually interested in her?" One look at her face told him the answer. "You have got to be joking," he was mildly annoyed, "You need to tell her there's no point continuing with this."

"I can't," she looked embarrassed, "she doesn't know I asked you to distract her."

He frowned at her, "So, at your behest, I have spent the entire evening with a young and inexperienced girl who is now looking at me as if I'm about to make all her dreams come true. Care to explain exactly how I'm supposed to get out of this without looking like a complete cad?"

"Not at the moment, but I'm sure I'll think of something," she promised.

"Please do, because my earlier conversation with her parents has just taken on a whole new light," the very thought of how his actions may have been interpreted came home to roost, "My God, Phryne if you don't come up with something good I may actually have to marry the child!"

He looked so stricken she could barely keep a straight face, "Cheer up Jack, it wouldn't be all bad, she's the very beautiful, only child of an extremely wealthy man."

"I'm sure she's a lovely person, but for goodness sake she's only a few years older than Jane, what on earth would we have in common?"

"Well, sex initially, then children and redecorating your family mansion every year."

"It sounds like absolute hell," he said seriously.

*****  


"How on earth has Bowen managed to catch his eye?"

"She's very pretty, her colouring is striking. "

"I suppose so, if you like that kind of thing."

"Most men do."

"Whoever are you talking about ladies?" Phryne sashayed herself into the middle of the clearly confidential conversation.

The ladies looked guilty, it was well known that Miss Fisher and the Inspector were returning to Australia having just brought down an international spy ring in England. Of course they weren't romantically involved, the Inspector was far too sensible a man for that, but still, they were undoubtedly friends.

The quick thinker amongst them spoke, "We were just saying how deplorable Miss Bowen's behaviour is, throwing herself at the Inspector like that."

Phryne did a double take, "I beg your pardon?"

Looks of genuine worry passed around the group, Miss Fisher did not look happy.

"How long has this been going on?" demanded Phryne.

A couple of the ladies started to look for an escape route. It appeared Miss Fisher was not as immune to the Inspectors charms as they had thought. "I think only tonight," offered up one of the ladies, adding, "he's been nothing but a perfect gentleman."

"Of course he has, the Inspector is always the consummate gentleman and a young lady who is unused to such manners is likely to misinterpret his politeness for something more..." her smile now was just the right side of unpleasant, "personal."

"That's exactly what we were saying, Miss Fisher."

The sense of relief in the group, as Phryne walked away, was palpable. "I rather think that she's in love with him herself," remarked one of the ladies to a murmur of general agreement.

*****  


"Miss Fisher, how wonderful to see you again," Mrs Bowen did her best to be polite to the colleague of the man who, rather unexpectedly, was showing an interest in her daughter. A man, that in her opinion, was a much better option than McKinney. "We were speaking earlier with your gallant Inspector friend."

"Yes, damn good chap," threw in Mr Bowen, "excellent head for business I'd say, would be a valuable addition to the family firm," he winked at her.

"The Inspector is not available, for either your firm or your daughter," Phryne said in a voice that brooked no disagreement.

The Bowens looked taken aback by her statement, "Surely the man knows his own mind," pointed out Mrs Bowen.

"Oh, he does. It's my mind he doesn't know but I'm about to make things very clear for him."

Phryne walked up to where Jack was waltzing with Miss Bowen, tapping her rather forcefully on the shoulder then whispering into her ear so Jack couldn't hear. "Lucinda my dear, you seem to have made a slight error, this is not Mr McKinney. This is Detective Inspector Jack Robinson, and he is mine."

The poor girl, confronted with the narrowed eyes and flaring nostrils that accompanied this claim, looked as though she might faint, "Miss Fisher, I... I didn't..."

"No, you didn't, which is lucky for all concerned. We will talk about this, later," she promised before turning her back on the girl in dismissal. "Inspector, I believe you owe me a dance."

Jack raised an eyebrow at her before looking over her shoulder, "Miss Bowen?"

"It's fine Inspector, I'm not feeling well anyway, I think I'll retire for the night."

He watched the girl nearly run back to her parents. "What have you done?" he asked half amused, half worried.

"I'm making things right, everyone here is now very clear that I have decided to put an end to your budding romance with Miss Bowen - oh and I'm about to seduce you."

"Really?" his eyes flashed back to hers, "Am I going to enjoy it?"

"No. I need you to look uncomfortable and perhaps a little angry, remember we're only professional colleagues and you know better than to get romantically involved with a woman like me."

He nodded, this was a role he knew how to play. He saw Mrs Bowen leaving with her daughter and the look she gave him was unmistakably one of pity.

"Where are you going?" she reached out to grab his arm.

"I'm pretending to go and check on the young lady you so obviously upset, I am after all supposed to be half in love with her," he pointed out as he let her hand stop him.

She brought him back to face her, "I don't think you want to do that, I think you want to stay here with me."

His eyes moved back to the door.

She reached up, placing her hand on his jaw drawing his face back to hers, "Eyes on me Inspector, it's time to dance," she told him, insinuating herself into his arms.

*****  


"I had heard the stories of course, but I would not have believed a lady could behave so shamelessly."

"Look at the poor man, he's clearly uncomfortable with her attentions but too polite to leave."

"Is it any wonder? She never looked at him twice until poor Bowen caught his eye, now she's all over him."

"She's exactly that type of woman, knowing another woman wants him will make her even more determined to add him to her extensive list of lovers."

"He's speaking to her now and he looks angry, I'd give anything to know what he just said - look at her face, she wasn't expecting that."

*****  


"I think that's enough for tonight," she had whispered, gazing up into his eyes, as she let her hand wander possessively over his upper arm, "I want you to look like you're telling me how inappropriate my behaviour is and then leave."

"This is me telling you Miss Fisher that I would appreciate it if, next time you decide to play match maker, you leave me out of it," he spun on his heels and walked away.

She stood there for a moment, unsure exactly how much of that had been acting.

*****  
She tapped at the door to his cabin, far from convinced he would answer, "Jack? It's me." There was no response and, when she put her ear against the door, she couldn't hear anything. She didn't blame him, given his sense of honour, the position she had put him in was unforgivable. Sighing at her own stupidity she headed to her cabin, she wasn't looking forward to spending the night alone.

She poured herself a large whiskey and sat in the armchair. She really had made a mess of things, poor Lucinda would be heartbroken again and now Jack was angry with her too. On top of that, her outrageous behaviour this evening was bound to alienate her from her fellow travelers and there were still three days before they got to New York. Bother it all! It had seemed so obvious this morning that the girl was pining for McKinney. She had thought it would be a bit of light hearted fun for them, smoothing the course of young love. In future, she vowed, she would stick to murders. 

"Phryne?"

His voice startled her. "You're here?" she said, as he appeared at the bedroom door.

He looked at her puzzled, "Where else would I be?"

"I thought you were angry at me."

"Not angry," he moved towards her, offering his hand as she stood, "exasperated maybe," as he wrapped his arms around her, "but not angry. Are you coming to bed now?"

"Oh God, yes."


	2. All's Well That Ends Well

Fully dressed, except for his shoes, he leaned against the pillows on the bed watching her do her hair and make up. She caught his eye in the mirror and smiled, "I really am sorry about all this but I'm going to make it right. By the end of today no one will be able to blame you for losing interest in Miss Bowen," she promised.

"And your plan to achieve this?"

"Well, having been forced to confront my true feelings for you when I saw you in the arms of another woman.."

"... girl," he corrected her.

She tilted her head in acknowledgement of his point, "... only to have been rebuffed, I'll need to take a different approach today," she looked at him speculatively, "What do I do?" she pondered, tapping the end of her hairbrush against her chin.

"I can't wait to find out," he said, "Tell me, how receptive am I to your attempts?"

"Well, she represents everything a man like you deserves; a wife, children, financial security," he raised his eyebrows at her list, "but your defenses, against my blatant desire for you, are wavering. I am after all an incredibly persuasive woman."

He nodded, he'd be the last person to argue with that. "So, attracted to you against my better judgment? I believe I know how to portray that."

She grimaced, that sounded a bit too close to home, "Having regrets Inspector?"

"Never," he assured her, "merely getting in character." He stretched, reminding her of a satisfied cat and her concerns melted away in the face of his obvious contentment. 

*****  


"Jack! Wait. Please?" Phryne had spent the best part of the day looking for him, his ability to successfully evade her on board a ship this size giving her a whole new appreciation of his skills. She wondered how many people had seen her so obviously searching for him and he equally purposely avoiding her? The times he had been about to walk into a room, only to see her and spin around at the last moment. Or when she walked in, only to have him get up abruptly to leave before her slow searching eyes had found him.

This time though he had decided to let her catch him, so it was her turn to take the lead. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the Bowens walk in. Jack was, she realised then, disturbingly good at this game.

"Can I assist you, Miss Fisher?" 

His cold formality was a shock. Though she knew he was in role because every person in the room was watching them, the fact he could speak to her as though all the wondrous days they had shared never existed made her uneasy.

"I... I just wanted to apologise, about last night. My behaviour was unacceptable," she searched his face for a sign that he was playing but he was at his unreadable best.

"I appreciate your apology but I think it would be best if..."

"Can we start again Jack? As friends? Please?" She would never admit, not even to herself, how often she had dreaded having to say these words to him.

He shook his head, "I don't think that would work, last night you reminded me of feelings that I thought I had conquered."

"Sounds serious," the words were out before she could stop them, damn him for unsettling her like this.

A flash of pain appeared in his eyes and it took a moment before he replied, "It is." 

Upset at having unintentionally brought up their previous estrangement she reached out, seeking the comfort of what they were to each other now, only to have him step away. 

"Good night, Miss Fisher."

For the second day in a row she was left behind, alone and off balance.

*****  


As soon as he stepped in her cabin she threw him up against the door, claiming his mouth with a wild hunger. "Don't you ever walk away from me like that again Jack Robinson," her voice was dark and threatening, "You don't get to leave me behind. Never!" Her hands moved roughly around his body undoing buttons, ripping off his bow tie, pushing away clothes in a frenzy that left him groaning helplessly against her.

Dragging her dress up over her hips she ground herself hard against his naked thigh, leaving him in no doubt exactly how much she wanted him. Her frantic desire was intoxicating and he spun them round, her back against the door, lifting so she could spread her legs around him. 

And then, the incredible feeling of him inside her. Wanting her. Needing her. 

"Promise you won't leave me!" she demanded, more than half out of her mind, "Promise!"

"I won't - " thrusting into her with an urgency he didn't try to control, "- I wouldn't."

Her kiss in response was savage. Her teeth hitting against his, her tongue so deep in his mouth he was almost choking, her finger nails digging into his scalp until it hurt. It was frantic, intense and he came so hard he almost collapsed.

Reluctantly letting go of her thighs so she could take her own weight, he did his best to keep them both upright. 

When he had finally caught his breath, "Dare I ask?"

"Its what I should have done," she confessed, "all those months ago when you told me you were giving me up."

"I'm fairly sure, if you'd done that then, it would have scared me to death."

"Not quite the reaction I would have been aiming for," she conceded.

He traced the features of her face gently with his thumb, looking intently into her eyes, "I couldn't you know." 

She looked at him enquiringly, not following his train of thought.

"Leave you now, not even if I wanted to."

She kissed him then, so he wouldn't see her eyes misting over.

*****  


"Jack!," she waved at him enthusiastically as soon as he walked into the dining room, "I've saved you a seat, here, beside me."

He hesitated just enough, throwing a wistful glance at the Bowens but still obediently walking towards her.

"Thank you Miss Fisher," he said politely taking his seat.

"I was just explaining how terrible you are at remembering to eat and how it is the mission of my entire household to keep you decently fed."

A murmur of laughter went around the table.

"You're a lucky man, Inspector to have the entire household of such a beautiful woman so focused on your welfare," said one of the many men he had seen her dancing with on previous nights.

"That's exactly what I keep telling him," she said as she begun to fuss over him, talking him through the menu as though he was incapable of reading for himself.

"Miss Fisher, I think that it is within even my limited abilities to select something to eat," his frustration at her behaviour obvious.

"Of course Jack, sorry, I didn't mean to imply otherwise," she replied gaily, "You must promise to dance with me, I have only just realised how little we've danced." She turned to the wider group, "You'll have to forgive me gentlemen but it seems my dance card for this evening is full," as she put her hand proprietorially on his arm.

He stared at her hand, his discomfort clear but stopped short of asking her to remove it. 

Seeing the look on his face she quickly took away her hand. He was so reserved in public she wasn't sure how to behave towards him. She would have loved to spend every evening dancing, talking or simply gazing at him but she didn't want to offend, or worse still, embarrass him. 

When one of the group started to tell a humorous story shifting attention away from them, she leaned in to whisper urgently in his ear, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to be quite physical tonight, to make it very clear that we're together now. Will you be okay with that? If you're not, let me know and I'll try to come up with another plan."

He looked at her confused, "I don't see any reason why that would be problem."

"Really?" she was surprised, "I always thought you preferred that people weren't aware of our relationship."

"Why would you think that? I don't care whether people know or not."

"So it wouldn't worry you if I were to be more demonstrative in public? Not just now but back home?"

He could see she wasn't convinced, "What can I do to prove it to you?" With a mischievous grin he leaned in and whispered, "Shall I bend you over this table and take you in front of all these people? So everyone is crystal clear what we are to each other."

The illicit image combined with the timbre of his voice sent a shiver down her spine and brought the colour to her cheeks. Her eyes sparkling with delight, laughter barely restrained, she shook her head, "Perhaps it would be better if we started with something more conventional?"

He straightened, "As you wish, but let me know if you ever change your mind."

*****  


Lucinda looked across to where Miss Fisher and the Inspector were deep in conversation, their heads close together, Miss Fisher stroking his arm. Earlier in the day she had seen him walk away from her but it was clear that things had changed in some way. The fact her foolishness had resulted in him being pulled into Miss Fisher's net made her feel awful. Mother had already said more than once, what a shame it was to see such a good man go to waste. She said that Miss Fisher was only toying with him - apparently that's how she treated men. 

Of course she had been avoiding Miss Fisher all day. She didn't know how she could explain what had happened, it was just the Inspector was so attractive and the attention he had so unexpectedly paid her had gone straight to her head... Oh, she was such an idiot! She knew that everyone was talking about how silly she had been, mistaking common courtesy for something more. Suddenly she had a strong desire to leave, in fact, if she didn't get out right now she was going to burst into tears.

Stumbling up, she gave her apologies to her parents and fled the room. Jack watched her leave, this had gone too far. He moved to stand and follow her out.

"Jack, what are you doing?" Phryne put an restraining hand on his arm, "You can't go after her, it'll put us back to square one."

"This nonsense has to stop," he said, "you can see how upset the poor girl is, its time to explain whats been going on."

She gazed at him for a second before nodding, "You're right, I'll come with you."

They walked out of the dining room and headed up to the deck which seemed the most obvious place for the girl to have gone. They had just walked through the last gangway when a figure came flying towards Jack. Taken unawares, but used to dealing with the unexpected, at the last minute Jack heard Phryne call out that it was McKinney and not to hurt him. Dropping his guard he was completely unprepared for the punch or the blood that subsequently filled his mouth.

For a moment he was only vaguely aware that Phryne had the young man in an arm lock and was threatening to break his arm if he even thought about touching the Inspector again. Jack waved his arm at her to calm down as he used his handkerchief to put pressure on his lip. "What the hell was that for?" he mumbled painfully at McKinney, "And for God's sake Phryne, let him go before you do actually hurt him."

Released, McKinney straightened his clothes before turning blazing eyes on Jack, "This is about your shameless attempt to steal Miss Bowen's affections from me! Don't bother to deny it, its the talk of the ship."

Phryne had the decency to look guilty when Jack shot her a look of extreme frustration. He was about to explain the whole sorry mess when she motioned for him to let McKinney continue, she had just seen Lucinda come around the corner.

"You should know that I care deeply for Miss Bowen and, in fact, I intend to make an offer for her hand." Miss Bowen looked absolutely delighted at this declaration especially when he placed his arm around her waist in a protective manner. "As such, I would appreciate it if you would keep your distance in future," he finished dramatically as he guided his lover away.

"Well, congratulations to you both," Jack muttered rather savagely as they disappeared down the stairs, presumably to make their formal announcement.

"Jack, I am so sorry..."

He shook his head at her, "What have I said about you saying sorry?" he dabbed at his split lip, "How bad is it?"

"I think you'll survive but it's definitely going to swell up."

"Great, so somehow I've ended up the villain of the piece," he said petulantly.

"No, I'll come up with a..."

He held his finger up to her lips to silence her, "Miss Fisher, in a criminal investigation there is no one that I want on my side more than you, but when it comes to the romantic affairs of other people I have to tell you - you have absolutely no skills whatsoever."

"Well, that's hardly fair Jack," she pointed out as she handed him her handkerchief to replace his blood soaked one, "Miss Bowen has, after all, got exactly what she wanted."

He glared at the meddling, infuriating, clever, capable woman who had made him remember just how wonderful life could be. His eyes softened and a smile played across his lips, "Okay, you win Miss Fisher. Come on," he slipped his arm around her waist, "it would be shame to waste this moonlight."

Surprised by his romantic notion she let him set a slow pace so they could continue their gentle banter and as they strolled they nodded at the lovers taking advantage of the brilliant evening. Then somewhere along the way, the banter turned into whispered endearments and she found herself murmuring sentiments of a sort she had never felt before and her only excuse was that the clear starlit night made everything seem possible.


End file.
